Why can't I get this out? Am I not giving something to God to in turn get His help w/ this? Possibly.
I've been consumed lately by thoughts. Not bad thoughts, but they have been worrisome thoughts and stressful thoughts, and that IS a hindrance.... this I know. Why is it so hard for humans... or for me... to just let go??? I know that it drives me crazy! I'm going along just fine and then all of a sudden I let my worries and stresses stop me in my tracks. And then I sit. I feel like I can't get through. I need a refill, God!!!
God says it so simply in Matthew 25:27, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" And then in Psalm 55:22, "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."
I find comfort in the scriptures, but sometimes I just let my flesh overpower what I know to be true.
"Even as I sit here now, Lord, I can feel wrinkles in my expression. I am stressed right now. I feel like I need a break. I love being a stay at home mom and I love my family, but I'm overwhelmed right now. I know that my worries and my stresses are sooooooo tiny compared to others. I look around and I know that so many are hurting right now, Lord, far more than I can begin to imagine. The thing is, I know that you care also about my trivial worries and stresses, and I know that you are far more qualified than I to handle them with the proper care. I stress because as I sit here and attempt to write for you (right?), my children are at my feet, needing one thing after another, my mind is filled with the worries of certain family members, I am everywhere but here, Lord! Forgive me! Why do I continue to worry and burden myself with these cares when I have your Promise to take them from me? I tell my youth to give their worries to you, Lord, but I can't practice what I preach? I'm ashamed. I need your help, Father, to prioritize my time. Why can I organize my closet but not my time? I need to devote more undivided time to my children. MORE undivided time to YOU, Lord... you KNOW that!!! More time to my husband. Why is it that I am home all day, and still feel that I'm struggling to finish chores, let alone spend time with you, my children, my husband, and myself????? UGH! I'm struggling, Lord, and I know only you know how to fix my boo-boos. I'm very good at making boo-boos, but not so great at the band-aid part. Help! Father I know you have a plan with this blog.... there is a reason that you are giving me thoughts, but not putting them into words yet. I want to reach others, and yet I'm consumed by my own struggles. I know you're working, Lord. I know I need to seek more. Please help me to prioritize my time and to be productive with every minute of every day, Lord. Help me be a blessing to others through you. Help me to not burden my life or anyone else's with my struggles, but place them in YOUR hands, Lord, where I know they will be better dealt with anyways! I love you, Father, and I place this blog in your hands as well, Lord. Have it and do with it what you will. Have your will upon the direction of this blog, and the direction of my life. Teach me, Lord. I don't even have to mention what I need help in; I'm just laying my troubles at your feet and asking you to meet me. I cannot do anything on my own, God, you know that! Here I am; heart, mind, soul, arms open."
..... and as I decide to look one more place, He gives me this......... God's awesome power never ceases to amaze......
Psalm 62:5, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."
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