Brace Yourself......

Okay, so when life takes you on an emotional roller coaster, buckle up tightly, b/c it's a crazy ride. Our roller coaster has gone from 60 mph to 120 mph in a matter of hours. First of all, let me say, when God says to praise Him in the storm, PRAISE HIM IN THE STORM. Praise Him, regardless of what life throws your way, PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE HIM. Let me tell you why :)

Okay, so if you're reading this and have not yet read the blog entitled 'He gives and He takes away', read that BEFORE reading this.

Now that you've read the other blog, brace yourself! So we knew that the baby had no heartbeat, we knew that if my body did not do it's job, then I was going to have a D & C on the 25th, and we also knew, from my ultrasound last Wed., that there was a mystery sack of fluid in my uterus that the dr. kind of shrugged off and said he'd keep an eye on. Well, Saturday night I ran fever all night and even through Sunday morning did not feel well; I was very nauseated, but got up and went to church. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot at church, I started vomiting. I told Derrick to go ahead and take the kids to class and go to the sanctuary himself, and that if I needed to go home I'd send someone to get him. So I stayed in the foyer, close to the bathroom b/c I had gotten sick three times in about half an hour since we'd been there. I had just come out of the bathroom and sat down in a chair and a lady whom we work w/ in youth came out of the sanctuary and asked if I was okay. I told her I just didn't feel well and she kept asking what was going on. (we hadn't told anyone from the church about all of our issues yet, we had just requested prayer from the pastor for an unspoken need). So I began to cry and told her about everything, from the beginning, and she grabbed my arm and said, "Come w/ me, we are going to pray", so we walk to the front of the sanctuary and tons of people begin to gather around, almost like they knew, without knowing, you know?! Well, w/ lots of hands upon me the prayers lasted almost 20 minutes I think and during this time, the pastors wife came up to me (again, no one knew anything about what had happened), she put her hands around my stomach, and she said, "Father, I pray the blood of your Son, Jesus Christ upon this fetus; God, it is in your hands and we know that you have a will, take care of this fetus, Lord, take care of Crystal's body.......... " Later, I accused Derrick of telling someone but he had no either, it was a GOD THING that she knew that I was even carrying a fetus in me!

Well, I thought that maybe I should call my doctor Monday morning (yesterday) to let them know about the fever and the fact that I felt horribly nauseated and just plain not good. So, they told me that they needed to see me immediately, and also that in studying the ultrasound from Wed., the doctor saw that there were actually two sacks w/ two different fetus'....... WHAT?!?! So we head up there all bumfuzzled (is that a word?!). I tell the dr. about what has been going on, just a bit of spotting here and there, back pain, a bit of cramping, nothing major, plus the not feel well, vomiting, fever, etc. So all of a sudden, he says, "Come w/ me", and takes me into another room for yet another ultrasound. Great. So I have my eyes closed b/c I'm just so ready for all of this to be over with, and all of a sudden, the PA says, "Ummmm, I see a baby...... moving..... with a heartbeat....... a STRONG heartbeat!" WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!!!!!!!!! So as I try to move my tongue from my throat, I utter out, "What?!", and I grab Derrick's arm and the PA is just shaking her head in disbelief. As she walks out, she says, "Oh, I am getting ready to BLOW your doctor's mind!" Oh my. Derrick and I are literally shaking and our minds are spinning...... we wait, and wait, and wait for the dr. to come back in. His words, "Wow; I have some crazy, awesome news, and some scary news." He has NO EXPLANATION of why or how the baby that just FIVE DAYS AGO had no heartbeat, and had quit growing three weeks ago, NOW, has a heartbeat and is EXACTLY WHERE IT SHOULD BE IN SIZE.............. ha, no explanation.......... I can't explain it either but I KNOW MY GOD CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, here's the run down on the 'scary news' as he put it...........

There were twins. (mind-blowing in itself) Two sacks, two fetus'. The one that didn't make it had some type of blood vessel or something burst in the sack, and the sack is now double the size that it was 5 days ago, and full of blood. He said that as quickly as it's growing, it could overtake the uterus and basically suffocate the other baby, or could burst and cause a bad infection for the living baby, so we are kind of on eggshells right now. He said there's nothing they can do to stop it from growing, nor to assist in draining out the blood at this time, b/c it's too risky. Basically, what's going to happen will happen regardless. So we go back in two weeks for another ultrasound to check on miracle baby, and to see the progress of the sack of blood. He said if miracle baby is okay, and the sack is still there, then we'd have to go from there to see what to do. He said it would be very risky to do anything for awhile, so basically just PRAY!!!!!

I cannot even explain to you how quickly my mind is spinning right now. Talk about a roller coaster, huh?! I don't even know what to say except NEVER underestimate the POWER OF GOD!!!!!!!!! Please continue to pray for us and for this little baby that is struggling to hang on :) If you've never heard the song "Praise You in the Storm" by Mercy Me, GO LISTEN TO IT!!!! That song gave me sooooooooooo much comfort the last couple of weeks, and my goodness, imagine if we'd not continued to praise HIM in this storm, if we'd questioned why He was letting this happen........... wow!

Dear God, thank you for your tremendous blessings. Thank you for our mountain days, our valley days, AND our canyon days, Lord. Help us to continue to reach out for your hand, b/c you know SO MUCH BETTER than we do what You want for us. Please wrap your wings of protection around this baby, Lord; have your will with it's life, however long that may be. Lord, thank you for taking care of the baby that did not make it; you knew what was best for it's life as well, and I know that he/she is in your presence right now, in a much better presence than I could have ever given. I ask Lord that you take care of my body in all that is going on. Help us to give it ALL to you, Lord. Every bit of it. Thank you for holding my hand, for not letting me go insane over the last couple of weeks. Thank you for comforting me, for giving me a peace that passeth all understanding. Lord, thank you for Michelle finding me in the foyer at church and for all of those that laid hands upon me in Your name. You are awesome God! Thank you for my children and my husband; may this bring us closer together in You, Lord. I love you and praise you above all. Amen.